the burden of caring.

world issues have nearly completely consumed my brain today. between the issues currently and recently in libya, new zealand, wisconsin, egypt, australia, etc, i’m feeling overwhelmed.

this lead me to think about the burden of caring.

i’m in my last semester of undergraduate study, and i’ve got plenty going on in my own life, but i cannot cease to seek out information outside the “bubble” of my school and even my country. it’s my nature. i like to be informed, not just about news issues.

however, up until a few weeks ago, my deep need to be informed and care about what’s happening, from the lives of my friends to the lives of people in countries, had been suspended (partially due to the grieving process, i believe). it was a me-me-me-fest, 24/7. i was a slave to heightened sensitivity and mood swings, with generally agreeable or good days but terrible nights that brought tears like clockwork. deadlines for schoolwork and for the school newspaper that i write for had no meaning.

i honestly felt like shit most of the time, despite–or maybe because of–being the center of my universe.

but now i’m feeling mostly normal again (well, normal for me). i can CARE.

caring takes time. caring takes energy. caring causes headaches and rants and broken hearts. apathy is easier. i’d probably get better grades, more sleep, and spend less time online about to tear my hair out in aggravation.

so why care? is it actually worth it to have a bleeding heart?

caring proves our humanity. that robot that just won jeopardy could sit with a single college-student as she anxiously awaits the results of a pregnancy test, weighed down with the possibilities that could disrupt her entire future, but a robot couldn’t absorb those emotions and be stressed out (unless you’re Data in that one episode of star trek: TNG). i doubt hearing the death count from libya would furrow its brow.

apathy allows those committing heinous acts to continue unabated, those being oppressed to remain silent, and the suffering to believe they are alone. it devalues those outside of your own universe and raises you, the individual, to the status of unreachable and self-sustaining island, which we were never meant to be.

it is because of this that i also have a beef with those who say “i don’t watch the news, it’s depressing.” guess what: avoiding world events doesn’t mean that they aren’t happening. taking the time to actually know what is happening is the first step towards eliminating personal apathy. if you can care about the life events of your friends displayed on your Facebook, you can take the time to regularly hit up a reputable news website.

i’m about to tear my hair out. my multitasking brain is attempting to analyze world events from the perspective of someone who’s finally attempting to learn why and how countries are interdependent. i don’t understand most of what’s happening, but i’m not going to give up. i’d rather get upset or up in arms about things happening outside of myself than spend an hour in a pity party. i take the burden of caring seriously.